When I was in the second grade, I went on a trip to the zoo and i will never forget standing in the walkway, gazing at giraffes when suddenly a peacock was gazing back at me with widespread wings! And ever since, i have always loved these beautiful multicolored birds. I remember being anxious to tell everyone in my family I "finally" knew what I wanted to be when I grew up and when they stopped to ask "what", my voice, as loud as the colors of their wings, blurted out A PEACOCK! Everyone burst into laughter, as if I had yet another moment: you know, one of those moments when a child spills their heart and adults fail to take them serious, deeming everything spewing from their little mouths as "silly" and "how cute"! But I was serious, I really thought i could be a peacock when I grew up. Maybe I didn't have wings, but the peacock couldn't fly so that made us even. right?! Despite all of my "cute sayings", my little mouth caught the attention of a teacher at my school and suddenly they were discussing the possibility of skipping me a grade higher. Before the discussion could conclude, I interjected with my refusal, i would not leave my friends behind in second grade, i was too small to be in third grade, and i just didn't want to go. And as simple as that, everybody let it go.
Years later, I was watching the discovery channel, only to learn the meaning behind the peacocks feathers. In a call to mate, the male peacock spreads its wings/feathers to boast of his beauty and attract the affection of a female peacock! As if it had occurred the night before, i remembered my 2nd grade field trip and joked with some of the same family members, proclaiming that "obviously someone believed i would grow up to be a peacock"! ;o)
And last year, while visiting a zoo in Denver,CO, i sat on the grass journaling about everything life was placing at my feet, so perplexed about which direction to take, and I kid you not, A peacock walked right up to me, scared the mess out of me, had my pen & paper flying in the air....just to Open his wings?! As if confused and frightened, the peacock almost froze as if to ask "who are you"??! lol....My coworker joked that "birds of a feather flock together"; even noted that i was a "flashy peacock of a woman". Not sure whether to feel flattered or insulted i simply walked away with an Ah-ha moment that would only pronounce itself today:
A peacock May have the Prettiest Wings.....AND STILL SHE NEVER FLIES!
they say if you love someone let 'em go, & if they return you'll know it was meant to be...the thing is...I've always said if you let me go, I'll fly LIKE A BIRD...but sometimes I'd wonder, am i that flashy, boastful (all talk) kinda bird who shows you her wings (what she's made of), yet never takes flight?! Mentally I'm face to face with the peacock in Denver once again, and it frightens me to think, like his, my wings are just "pretty".....
When presented the opportunity to FLY and skip second grade, i relented...I showed my colorful wings and refused to use them. When presented with the opportunity to leave a love lost, i hesitated, but I revealed my colorful wings....and discovered I was another bird ;)
So it is true: Hold Me close, & I'll LOVE, you have my word;
Let Me go too soon & I'll FLY, Just like a bird.
...and there she goes................