Sunday, November 15, 2009

Dating VS. Hanging Out VS. just out on A date VS. Courting???

Hey so i have a question: If a guy & a girl are talking via telephone for quite a while, and suddenly the guy says "when are we gonna go out" (SIDE BAR:what does that mean...intentions, etc???) However, the girl says "oh, well just to let you know, "i'm not looking for a relationship or anything like that", then he says "that's not a problem, i still wanna take you out"....IF SHE AGREES TO GO OUT, WHAT MESSAGE IS SHE SENDING?? Should she trust that they really are on the same page (as in: neither want a relationship) OR is she leading him on by agreeing to go on the date?AND what If he says, "it's koo, i just wanna take you out", BUT She KNOWS he's really into her. Again, is she leading him on by going on the date even though she knows he wants more than she does?! Or has she been "up front"/ honest; therefore she has no fault (since she "kept it real from the jump)"????

Hopefully all that wasn't confusing; we went in circles about this at church....I NEED TO KNOW WHAT EVERYONE THINKS??!

ALSO: What classifies a "DATE" and when are people considered to be dating vs. simply getting to know each other or is it all just the same thing??? help me out yall....they had me sooo frustrated; I have my own thoughts, BUT i just wanna hear different opinions! ;-o


Ms_Cr0ss said...

To the first question, if you know that a guy is interested in you and wants more than "friendship" then going out on a date with him after you've explained that you're not interested in that way is definately leading him on. What would be the purpose? If you say to him that you are not romanitically interested in him then maybe he'll get the point. You know guys can be a bit slow these days...If he truly wants to be a friend then coo, go out with him with other ppl, not just the two of you and that'll help relieve any awkward tension.

To the second question, a date is anything that a guy/girl takes time out to asks at least 3 days in advance to take you out or do something that they have planned and thought out. This could be as mundane as a dinner and a movie to an extravagant all expsense paid trip just for the two of you.

Dating is tricky because people don't understand what its for. You only date/court someone to see if they are someone you would like to marry; that's what dating is for. You don't go out, get emotionally attached and get to know the ins and outs of someone just for the heck of it...there is a purpose in mind. And ppl are officially dating when the two ppl have talked about it and are on the same page as far as one another's expectations are concerned.

Getting to know someone is great but it is not synonymous with "dating," there's a big difference...the bible spells it out clearly too. Hope that helps...

Shandra E...*the misses said...


However, for some strange reason, i was the only one who saw the TRUTH (as you do) in the whole scenario! everybody else stated that it was NOT "leading someone on, etc", rather the girl is being honest & up-front?! TRUE, but as you said, she's Intentionally being unclear (by not saying whether she likes him or not) she purposely leaves a window open??? WHY?! to wait/see if SHE wants something EVENTUALLY??? she already knows he wants something NOW so i see it as she's being a FEARFUL woman (perhaps afraid of love/commitment) who in-turn plays with a man's emotions, just to be entertained... and afterall, MISERY LOVES COMPANY!

...seems like she doesn't want a relatiosnhip, yet she's not satisfied being single...she's misserable alone so she has to be linked to someone even though she's not ready for the relationship! idk, it's a tangled web to weave AND YES, The BIBLE IS VERY CLEAR...everyone thought i was going beside the point?! I used RUTH's story as well as the story of Joseph & Potiphar's wife as examples & people still refused to see the truth....i think People will do what they want & they're willing to find any way to justify it! especially if/when Society as well as the church speaks against it! (women dating around without a cause isn't really an acceptable thing anywhere so if we can find a way to do it anyway, "we" will!)....

i'll share them this week at our single's meeting!!

Niku said...

I'm usually the girl in this scenario o.O I try my best not to lead a guy on. Some of them are so persistent though, and will not give up till you two just "chill" The word "chill" carries a lot less expectations than "date". For once, Id just like to "enjoy a guy's company" without him thinking that I'm interested. I guess a guy and a girl probably CANNOT be friends, eh?