Saturday, April 10, 2010

I Pledge Allegiance...



Put Your Right Hand Over Your Heart
Ready
BEGIN
KEEP BEATING

someone will learn to dance
Shandra e.

1 to 10: Speechless, but for so Long...

"1 to 10 is basically writing down that 1 thing I wish I could say to 10 different people but...cant, won't or just haven't. And I don't say who they are".

Thanks to Robyn Latice at http://journey2maturity.blogspot.com I was inspired to do this post...We can only remain "speechless", but for so long.....





1. "Almost made you love me, Almost made you cry" you were so jealous and I still don't know why, because you never loved me....and you never showed me what TRUE love was.....
"Almost made you happy Babe, didn't I...didn't I?? (smh...always left me wondering)...& you Almost had me thinkin' you were turned around, BUT everybody knows ALMOST DOESN'T COUNT".



....So just yesterday, when you came so close...close enough to peer into my eyes,

I hope you realized...

I'm Done.


2. I don't know what to do about you...I don't need you and I'm not sure when I stopped wanting you, but it's been this way for so long and I'm comfortable. I can't say I'd hate to see you go, because I always hated when you'd come into my world turning everything upside down. I just don't know that you're ready to be "written off", still if life's some great novel...why were you written into it in the first place??! I swear, most people have beating hearts, but mine pounds from all the drama you cause! And though I hate DRAMA, as most people do...i'm one in a few who actually cares enough to love you.


...But when you're gone

because you finally walked away for good

I'll cry, grieve, and feel guilty as I should

still i can't say i'd want you back.



3. What has it been nearly 3yrs?? How do you just forget?! Where have you been?! Where did you go...why didn't you take me with you?! Our widowed friendship stays on my mind a lot and in your absence, i'm left to wonder if I'm the only one who cared...was I the only one who meant "forever"...you said we'd go to hell & back only to survive...i went to hell & back & i'm the only one alive...STILL IT'S CRAZY BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT DEAD...you just disappeared and your memory is still HERE.


I told you I couldn't have anymore AWOL characters in my life...

and you must've totally disregarded everything i felt.




4. It's okay to let people in, even when you fear they won't stay for good...otherwise you'll always be alone. Imagine it all like a home...with visitors, guest, & residents. Don't give everyone the key. Know that some people were never destined to stay. Some people were never supposed to leave. Others will always want to merely see what you have to offer, but they can give you nothing in return. If it's not broken...it will be. When it's broken there's a song, a poem, & a God to fix it all :)


Keep beating

someone will learn to dance



5. You expected So little of me and daily I give you more! I will never be HER and SHE will NEVER be ME.

I long to be your Beautiful let down.

6. When you said "I love you More than you could ever know", I was hoping you'd make it your mission to show me. And perhaps you did, and I was too blind and stubborn to see.

They say the eyes are windows to the soul

so I kept my eyes open, with my heart shut closed

But i suppose you found an "opportunity" :)

7. If this is what they call "growing pains", i've grown numb and the pain is as null as my feelings. Still I could never rid myself of you and i'd never want to. I pray we grow apart only to Grow UP. But I hope we find ourselves "together" again.

True Friends never last
a day past the end.



8. Sometimes I can be so selfish and too self-absorbed to notice you're waiting on me. And sometimes I become so self-sufficient I fail to let YOU help, when I know i could NEVER do it all myself. Sometimes I even lump you into a category with him, as if you could ever fail...
FORGIVE ME.
Live In Me.
I need You.


9. Like no other on earth i trust you and you make me feel so secure. And someday you'll make some lady feel like she's the happiest on earth and I'll be so proud to say: "he made me happy first"! lol...basically, you remind me that there are genuine lovers out there with hearts as big as mine. With wounds as steep as mines. With a future as bright as mines because we remind each other to love anyhow :)
And just because we've been wounded
never conclude we're damaged
doesn't even mean we come with emotional baggage
But experience will teach you to learn the hard lessons ONCE.


10. I probably shouldn't waste another one on YOU, but "a part of me" still sees another part of you and 'that part' of me still loves 'that part' of you. So i wonder, If we unveiled every layer of our hearts and kept it all the way real...If we faced our fears and insecurities and allowed ourselves to feel. If we kept our words limited to Truth, this post would bare the proof...
love is a book
we could write the sequel
brand new story
same two people.


Shandra e.
NO i was not "trying" to be all sappy, rhymy and "poetic", lol...When I start expressing my inner feelings, it's hard to escape allegories/poetry because too often i hide behind it. Still, i tried...and more than not, i failed! lol..

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

OoohOooh I LIKE IT! ;) Debarge Baby!




So this past Friday night, I went to some cafe' in Hollywood, where they hold an event called "FIRST FRIDAYS" and to my surprise, we closed the night with a guest performance from EL DEBARGE!!! I was too stoked...I just Love artist who were making it happen before my time & still manage to wow a crowd!...they have a sound we fail to capture these days And let me tell you...When El Got up to sing his infamous (family hit) I LIKE IT, the place couldn't help, but get with it! Youngins were singing lyrics to the 't', and those old enough to actually be "LONG TIME" fans were hysterical to watch as they screamed & "laughed" to keep from looking like the repressed groupies they were! LMBO...it was amazing though! He reminded me of Michael as he swooned the crowd and hit those beautiful falsettos notes...HE STILL HAS IT! && I hope he has a chance to redeem himself as an artist!!

...He, along with most of his Family has faced so many hard times so I want nothing more than great success & true happiness for the guy! I hope he stays clean...







*EL & brother Chico during "not so good" times.







He's kind of "up there" in age, but he still looked good when we saw 'em! lmbo even the Comedian with his grown self had to admit "although I'm such a heterosexual dude, El Debarge is fine & i aint afriad to say it!" ha! Then he looked right at El & said it again!! But he's that back in the day when light skin dudes were IN kind of FINE ...you know the baby face, baby hair wearing, pretty face dudes...lol..


...SO NOW, I've been playing him out non-stop...i swear me & my family got some kind of "addict-gene" cuz me & my little sister are straight wooed like it's 1985!! lol...& that's a whole year before my time...let alone she wasn't even a thought! ha! we some MJ rebounders though...just lovin' every little glimpse of him we see in others! But that's not to say EL DEBARGE himself wasn't worthy of our admiration cuz lawd knows i'm smitten :)




lol...by the music of course!










not the night we whitnessed; this might be footage from the 90z, but it serves the purpose!

Friday, April 2, 2010

When I get this feelin'....

MARIO BETTA SANG THAT SONG!!!!! lol....I LOVE THIS FOO!! I ALWAYS heard his Marvin Influences and longed for this moment when the worlds would collide...omg & i'm late, cuz this is so 2009?! lol...ENJOY :)




*sigh...Mario & Marvin...aint that just blissful...lol

My Distant Lover...


Can't Believe he would've been 71 years old...TODAY (04/02)!!! that's crazy....on April fools (April 1, 1984) His father became the king of FOOLS and took one of the best things EVER to happen to the world of Music!! =/ I AM FOREVER a FAN of this Man....
I have love & admiration to last a LIFETIME past my lifetime.


AN HONORARY HAPPY BIRTHDAY

TO MR. MARVIN G.

my favorite singer