Wow...I never thought I'd hear those words directed towards me...ME? ... holding a grudge?...or even worse, and i quote "A Vendetta...."?! *sigh....Sometimes RELIGIOUS FOLK/Church Folk (big difference between Believers/Christians)...anyhow...sometime people in general misunderstand what it means to FORGIVE! I had someone accuse me of Holding a grudge against a guy just because i refused to ride in his car like everyone else, hopping in for a ride with "benefits". Because refusing to ride in his car, and free-load off of his "drunken generosity" was a "sign" that what he did to me in the past is still effecting me in the present, as if forgiveness means "back to the way things were"??!! HA! Basically, this guy has a status that wavers like the wind...He's up, his finances are up, his EGO is UP so he spends, on everybody, freely....& still when he's down....everything else follows suit.....his self-esteem plummets, his "love" drowns you & him both, his spending becomes wasting, etc.
To sum it all up, he was noooo good.
So I'll dismiss the accusation as ignorance, but still....people tend to hold chains of "guilt" such as these, over Christians' head all thee time! Because being a Christian somehow equates to being a push-over??? Or does it sum up to an unlearned child repeating the same "hand-in-the fire" routine??! I DEMAND TO DIFFER! I can Forgive AND MOVE-ON! Forgiving someone does NOT mean you are obligated to continue a relationship of any sort with them; period.
When I was accused of harboring "unforgiveness", i took it as an insult to my maturity! A little bruised and battered girl returns to "life/love as we know it...even when what we know is proven wrong"! And there is 'a little' girl in every woman, STILL every woman has the power to GROW UP! I didn't yield myself to that mere "car ride" because it would send mixed signals....as if everything is okay, as if things can simply go back to the way they were...when really...I'm So over it all....So over it, I refuse to revert back to it!
When we succumb to the routines of the dirty past...we walk around with the stench of yesterday, in today's brand new clothes! We essentially ruin who we have become and really it's never worth it!
"FORWARD.....I'm moving FORWARD...Just ONE Word: FORWARD"!