Sunday, September 27, 2009

Brandy is The Best! PERIOD.

Yeah, so this is really random, but I've been havin' a Brandy Appreciation Day since i got home from church this morning?!! lol...idk what got into me, not that anything has to because she's my absolute favorite & one of my main sources of vocal inspiration!!

So, I've probably been on youtube singing & listening, listening & copying, soaking her in...breathing her, I went over to Dawn Richards videos because she sounds like Brandy and the whole movement continues....LOVE BRAN & Dawn, but Especially BRAN!!! :)

MAN, I love Her, this song & the songwriter (James Fauntleroy: LOOK HIM UP!)...
&& her outfit is so edgy; real cute!! She's Bomb...She's #1 on my female vocalists list!! But she's amongst GREAT company so the numbers don't matter too much...yet she has/continues to inspire me like NO OTHER!! :)


Tracks of My Tears....

People say I'm the life of the party

Because I tell a joke or two

Although I might be laughing loud and hearty

Deep inside I'm blue

So take a good look at my face

You'll see my smile looks out of place

If you look closer, it's easy to trace

The tracks of my tears..

I need you, need you

Since you left me if you see me with another girl

Seeming like I'm having fun

Although she may be cute

She's just a substitute

Because you're the permanent one..

So take a good look at my face

You'll see my smile looks out of place

If you look closer, it's easy to trace The tracks of my tears..

I need you, need you

Outside I'm masquerading

Inside my hope is fading

Just a clown oh yeah

Since you put me down

My smile is my make up I wear since my break up with you..

So take a good look at my face

You'll see my smile looks out of place

If you look closer, it's easy to trace

........The tracks of my tears

-Smokey Robinson

*Smokey Robinson is the lyric king!! He's responsible for a lot of Motown Hits & this is a song he performed with the Miracles!! I Love him...I have 2 of his albums & when i get my record player i'll have to start collecting his vinyls!! :) && That line is literally golden, the way he phrased it both vocally & figuratively; DOPE!...def. One of my FAVORITE songwriters!

Trey Songz had a song called "Missing You" where he dropped a line stating "& i can't stop seeing your face, in every girl i try to replace you with, Why can't I get over it, Baby cuz I can't...I can't stop Missing You"!'s funny because People really do this stuff: Put on a show, act like they've grown, moved on, etc.

...but really all you have to do is look close to see the tracks of their tears!

Saturday, September 26, 2009


Play Hard. Work Harder. Don't Burn Out!
That's the Plan.
-Shandra e.

LMBO...That ant went under radar for a good while before i realized his "leaf" was a little different! lol...not to mention he's cheesing uber hard!! I'd NEVER advocate drugs (whether seemingly "harmless" or not) , but this was hilarious! When i'm stressed, i SHOP or pamper myself, or write...or i also love to unwind & read, & through it all i have to have my MUSIC!!!

What makes YOU a happy ant??

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

...If You Try!!

These little boys are too Much!!!!
Here's an older video of them singing...
Gotta Love their little Country voices!

And now that they've grown up a little, Here's a more recent video! For some reason I'm more fond of the twin with the deeper tone (2nd verse Knocks!!) & Notice how each twin has Zoned in our their specialty (low voice vs. high, rap/hype vs. more vocals)

128 and overweight???! wow....

back from Denver with 10 extra lbs.
2008*actually 138 on the pic.

Most people who know & see me on a regular basis assume i'm this itty bitty, bite-size woman! && Because I stand 5ft tall, they're halfway right! However, there's a LIFE SIZE problem and looks can be deceiving!! During my 1st year of college, I took a BMI: BODY MASS INDEX TEST and discovered although i appear to be this petite woman with seemingly no reason to complain...I am beyond UNHEALTHY!! in 2005 my BMI tested out to "31"....which means i was seriously OBESE although i was only 130lbs!! They say it's hard for a pimp, but naw...being healthy is HARD for a petite! Especially if your culture naturally carries a little extra!

In spite of my "health issue", i found myself losing the freshman 15 instead of gaining it like all my peers and even when i gained it all back, it fell together much differently! All along my weight has been bouncing up & down between a give/take of 15lbs for a few years without any real effort?! Still, today, at 23 I am Overweight (no longer "obese" so yay! lol).....

SO, Here's the Goal: A great blogger

gave her readers a WATER CHALLENGE & I decided to take it on: 8 cups (8ounce glasses) of H2O a day for six weeks!! Sounds easy...& familiar?! Well, it's a vital health choice i have disregarded my entire life.....I'm the person who refuses to pay for water, rarely drinks water, & liable to get sick because i NEED water! But all ends! Thanks to "Sunshine", i'm taking on the challenge & along the way, i'll be watching my BMI as well as my weight, & urine color!!

Ironically, This topic popped back in my life at the perfect time!! Just earlier today, i noticed my feet were swollen =/
*like it's really scary because Diabetes runs in my family...& i'm already hypoglycemic...& anemic! yeah i got issues! LMBO, no but seriously, i need to get a Grip because this is LIFE-SIZE and my health needs to be a priority whether it outwardly reads PROBLEM or not!

IF you want to get on board or need more info, feel free to ask questions OR just run over to Sunshine's blogsite for all the details & benefits you're destined to experience!! :)

at the same time, this topic is hard to grasp because i'm BLACK (& i'm proud...say it LOUD) & well, i need & want a little (maybe alot) extra! lmBo ;)

Monday, September 21, 2009


lol...All I can say is WOW!!! I definitely don't agree with this, but it did serve as "interesting"/entertaining?!

Watch Your Back....


...the things people will do for followers! lmbo...I still don't understand the point of "twitter"...the only person who cares about your every move is a person trying to stop your next move...

-shandra e.

New Generation: Flashback!

lmbo, look at "Carlton's" face at the end of the video...for some reason it cracks me up!! && Ok so i wasn't even born until TWO years later...why do i remember watching this commercial as a kid?? Were they seriously showing re-runs that long?! Well, it is Michael! :)

&& Whew...Never realized how 'un-natural' Jemaine's "new face" is until seeing flasbacks of the "old face"! smh.....that's funny!! x-p

Saturday, September 12, 2009

"you wrote it in pencil"....

And even though i could easily find another

your name is signed on the dotted line...

upon my fractured heart,

you have left a mark.

and perhaps there are unseen brusies with memories of you.

there are longings for umentionable things you do.

but still there is

no. real. love.

only paper mached feelings

it's true: we were stuck like glue,

But yesterday i pulled up the residue of unreal.

Today i face whatever it is i feel:


-Shandra e.

(Cr)appy Birthday!!!

ok so that was mean??!
It's officially Sept. 13th && I'm 23 today :)
...just got in from the latest Tyler Perry Movie: Really Good!!

Friday, September 11, 2009

FEAR: it Cripples!

what you are most afraid of is where your greatest rewards are.
See what God wants you to know...

"If all you had to do was wish for something and you would have it, life would be ...pretty boring, wouldn't it? God placed barriers between us and what we want, so we can enjoy interesting and satisfying lives. God hid our biggest rewards behind the highest barriers - our deepest fears. God wants us to face our fears, and hold ground in their presence, and let them go, and that's how we get out biggest rewards. What are you most afraid of? Say it, just start by saying it". ('InGodWeTrust', FB)

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love cast out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in Love"!!
1st John 4:18
one of my favorite Scriptures! ;)

While It may keep you from a lot of things, often it keeps Too Many things from you....
FEAR: it cripples!

-Shandra e.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Such a Beautiful Liar

You said you were invincible

You said you'd never get hit,

....and i said i'd never shoot you.

but we lied

and as you lie there...

Lifeless and full of Love

your beating heart keeps up with mine

love's immortal.

we'll last to the end of time

♥Shandra e.

Once You Go Black....

Don't upgrade your life...just expand your unaffordable lifestyle!! lmbo get a look at those speakers?! ;) think there happens to be an escalade on '24's outside??? nah...they're actually the Angolian (not "black" afterall) version!
don't take it personal
-Shandra e.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Billie Jean is not My Mother!

the ending is just Off...way off! But of course i posted it anyway :)
have you ever been caught up in a song, singing Loud with the radio/cd, etc, and suddenly everybody,
but you realizes you don't know the words?!! lol..
I'm liable to do it all the time; same melody, new lyrics, just a mess!!

The World is Flat.....

they say Circles never end

well then, all we know is birthed from lies

and each time it rains

i swear the moon cries at the sight of me and you

we had everybody convinced

had them thinking we were TRUE

but the world isn't round

it's flat are you

you went off key and i fell off the face of the earth

changed the notes to my scales

and went missing like i was worth Nothing more than a fish in your sea

went fishing for everything you could only find in me

and that is when i decided to let you be

i decided to make a trip to find serenity

and if the world is flat

in this corner is where i'll be

facing the walls inside of me

learning lessons

loving ME.

-Shandra e.
& i realize i never fully commited to any/one concept within this poem! lol...but that's what happens when the world is flat: you sit in the corner, face those walls & seriously think about everything you've done until the lesson you've learned is so beyond the point of's more about realizing a truth you never knew.

SAILING with Avant: It's Not Far to Never Never Land...

Sailing: by Avant!

Well It's not far down to paradise
At least it's not for me
And if the wind is right you can sail away
And find tranquility
Oh The canvas can do miracles
Just you wait and see
Believe in me

It's not far to: never never land
No reason to pretend
And if the wind is right you can find the joy
Of innocence again
The canvas can do miracles
Just you wait and see
Believe in me

Takes me away
To where i've always heard it could be
Just a dream and the wind to carry me
And soon i will be free
It gets the best of me
When i'm sailing
All caught up in the reverie
Every word is a symphony
Won't you believe in me

Takes me away......

So It's not far back to sanity
At least it's not for me
And when the wind is right you can sail away
And find serenity
The canvas can do miracles
Just you wait and see
Believe in me

When I'm sailing....
Sailing, it takes me away....

This man has a way of pulling me in everytime!! The concept of "sailing" can be interpreted in many ways, BUT... When I first heard this song, my CD player was trippin' in my car & I decided to browse the radio...I heard the chords in the intro & immediately thought "this sounds like a Michael Jackson song" before he had even sang one word! lol...Then He said "it's not far to never never land" & of course i was hooked! I don't know if i initially fell in love because Mj had just passed away & the reference to never land made my day, but either way Avant is talented! This song is so tranquil & like slow, sweet LOVE, it does exactly what it implies: "takes you away"! And suddenly you forget about the cares and insanities of the world. I absolutely love it!!!

#1 on the Playlist!!!

Blog Breakdown

So, I realize I have quite a few Labels & perhaps you don't know what they mean:

TILII: - Basically, on most cases i will find a photo online that may appear "silent" on the surface level, but we all know a picture says a thousand i've decided to give My interpretation of the photo by Telling the story like it Is (or how i see it). Because i'm an extremely "relational" person, i rarely pull words out of a hat, meaning many times, these post will have some direct link to Me personally & sometimes they'll simply be my way of painting a random picture....

Lyrics That Breathe: basically, exactly what it says...these are lyrics that have a message! The message could be inspirational or something i consider a nice interpretation of love. && Usually these lyrics breathe because they represent parts of my own love/life....they breathe for me in a sense and allow me to Exhale! hey, music is therapy?! (but GOD's the cure) ;) lol &&& sometimes they're just something Dope/Worth while i want people to know, but it's already been said...something we all need to hear & perhaps apply to our lives?! When lyrics breathe, we ought to take notice...

Whose Line: words are sooo ambiguous; they can be intended for one meaning, but perceived to have another! these post emphasize the ambiguities of words by using the same exact phrase for different scenarios/ evoke different meanings! I've learned that many times, in love and in Life, we speak the same things in different languages...

The Scoop: Not so much a "gossip column" more like here's the nitty gritty about Me or what's going on in the open public....In these posts, I try to stay away from sketchy sources and things rumored to be kept "low profile" (yet glorified as gossip)....mainly, it's ME aside from the poetry and music...just the scoop on who I am: where i've been, what i've learned, ect (also stands for LESSON LEARNED)

Poetry Lounge: Obviously it's full of poetry! lol I LOVE WORDS & manipulating them to provoke thought! These posts are a reflection of me, you, humanity, love, life etc. I love saying familiar things in a new light using not so familiar concepts! lol...I think you'll love it??! =)

WORD: We all have something to say...But more importantly GOD has something to say!! Here's where you can find inspirational proverbs & scriptures or even poetry! I Love GOD too much to keep him to myself...these post are my way of sharing My God, without imposing my views, yet emphasizing the love, joy and wisdom he brings to one's life :)

well, If you're a new follower or you've been following for a while & just missed a few of my earlier posts, browse around & find your favorite sections of my blog...leave comments, debate, critic, & inquire...i'm interested in it all!

Shandra e.

These Bare Walls...

I've cleaned my mess and you have made your bed,

but who will occupy this space

-Shandra e.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Pleasure is always Relative; Happiness is Absolute!!

...happiness has nothing to do with pleasure.
See what God wants you to know...

"You feel pleasure when you want something and you get it. Or when you don't want something and you remove it. Pleasure is always relative. Happiness is absolute. Happiness is the understanding and acceptance of life as it is in this very moment, as completely perfect, because every creation of God is perfect. The degree to which you do not accept life in all of the Divine forms is the degree to which you suffer". (InGodWeTrust, FB)

"Happy is the man who finds wisdom....."

*PROVERBS 3:13-18

Proverbs happens to be my Favorite book of the Bible!! The most valuable 'thing' on earth, besides Love and Happiness, is wisdom!

Friday, September 4, 2009

The Beautiful Letdown

WOE is every statistical report claiming we are all the same!
I pity the fool who misuses my name… I walk in victory,
there is no shame
A woman not defined by from whence I came!
So to every “fatherless” child
raised in the heart of the ghetto,
To every poverty stricken family, To every single parent home,
You must refuse to stand in agreement with all negativity expected of your life!
Let Society Down, Prove them wrong
You are not Weak
It’s a Beautiful Let Down; They expected so little
But we’ve given so much

Shandra e.

Rubber Necking & Maia Campbell's Condition...

“Are you not entertained?” – Maximus

Maia Campbell is the hottest topic on the web right now. She’s a trending topic on Twitter and all I can think is I’m glad that her mother, a great inspiration for writing – the late BeBe Moore Campbell, is not here to see this. There’s a video of Maia dancing naked for crack. Reports say she is a drug addict, a prostitute, a thief. If indeed she is any of these things, it is secondary to her illness. Maia is a diagnosed *schizophrenic (source is Wrong; her mother reported she was Bi-polar) who is not compliant with her medication. Her mother wrote about her trials in her last novel, 72-Hour Hold.

What is it about American culture that we are so brutally insensitive to be entertained by the darkness and demise of others? It’s that whole “staring at the bad car accident” thing. There are 129,000 fresh hits for Maia today. If a diabetic were staggering, babbling in a hypoglycemic fit before falling into a coma we would not be amused or find it gossip blog worthy. If a learning disabled child was frustrated and throwing books while screaming bloody murder in Barnes & Noble – we would not be amused. Yet, a disabled Maia Campbell has delighted bloggers and gossip columns nationwide.

Maia is a schizophrenic and, in my opinion, that is the most important part of the story. Schizophrenia is a chronic, severe, debilitating brain disease. More than 2 million people a year are diagnosed with schizophrenia. Schizophrenics suffer from distorted perceptions of reality, hallucinations, delusions, and illusions. They hear voices that others do not hear. As you can imagine such symptoms often drive schizophrenic’s to drug and alcohol abuse to escape this devastating condition of the mind. That is what is exactly wrong with the beautiful and talented Maia Campbell. She is non-compliant with her medication and a drug user/abuser. This is secondary to her illness and so while some may find humor in writing “Maia Campbell’s a Crack-Ho” it is far from the underlying truth.Schizophrenia is a brain disease that often goes undetected as simply bizarre behavior. Particularly in communities of color, schizophrenia is often overlooked as “crazy like his daddy” or “wild like her mama”. Because there is a genetic component to the disease you could see patterns of behavior across siblings and the parent/child relationship. The families of severe schizophrenics suffer tremendously. Full of worry and distress, an untreated schizophrenic can do much harm to his/her self. Unlikely to commit suicide or violence against others- it is the high risk lifestyle that sufferers are drawn to that endangers their lives. Because of the inability to hold down a job, many schizophrenics find themselves in poverty, which leads to depression and/or crime. It’s a spiraling nightmare for the family.My heart goes out to Maia Campbell, her family, and all the millions of families that are affected by this disease. Before we begin to label someone as “just crazy” it’s worthwhile to consider that there may be a true medical condition that needs treatment. If you or someone you know needs help, visit resources

Reminder: i did not write the above, i simply searched for more answers & that's (some of) what i found

I recently watched Maia being exploited in a video and it hurt my heart TOO much to sit back & simply read the gossip! I want help for her & i am seriously adding her name in my prayers!! I hope by (re)posting this article, two-sides of the story will be heard and more people will begin to pray for Maia and the many others suffering from drug addiction & psychological distress!!!

I can only hope/pray she gets the HELP/intervention she needs to make a full recovery! prayers...she needs them!
Also, go Here if you want to read what the late Bebe Moore Campbell (maia's mom)had to say about all this! She mentions Maia's disorder as BI-POLAR, which is a totally different illness; glad i researched the source:

*Self-evaluation: the next time there's an accident, I vow to "break my neck" to PRAY instead...
"with bowed heads"...

-shandra e.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

To Do...To Don't..I'm making a List!

With my 23rd birthday spinning around soon, I've decided to set a few goals of things TO DO before the year ends! As of next week, i will be working a full time day job as a Behavioral Therapist and by night, i'll feed my need for the world of fashion as a sales associate at Forever21!! AND, aside from that, i'll be enrolled as an online student as well.....with all that going on, IT'S IMPERATIVE THAT I HAVE SOME ME TIME!!!!

Things TO DO:

- Take a trip to Catalina Island!!! I haven't been in years, but I love it there!!! It's a beautiful little island with exotic fish and just fun little things to do...I've been "planning" this trip since January...of Last year =/ so I have to go before another January rolls around!! If not Catalina, i just have to get away...I get all school vacations so there should be time; hopefully sooner than later.
- Commit to a mani and pedi every two weeks!! after being on my feet so much, i deserve a good soak & i just love pampering myself, so really, i'll make any excuse! lol...Besides, my nail lady LOVES ME....she tells me all her secrets with her sister sitting in the next chair trying to ease drop!! LMBO...and when she leaves her sister tries to "get it out of me", but I NEVER TELL!! Being there, reminds me that listening to people's problems, being loyal to confidentiality, and keeping it REAL is what i was born to do....i can't wait to be a clinical psychologist!! lol...&&& neither can my nail lady...she wants to be the 1st to Pay me!!
-CONTINUE to Save Up for My Own Apartment!!!: It's about that time (i've been anxious for quite a while actually) TO MOVE UP & OUT My Mamma's house!! Even though i was away living the "dorm life" in college, coming home, after answering to no obnoxious!! My mom thinks she needs to know all details....& not because she's concerned...she just nosy! lol...& I realize, the only way i will learn to cook for myself, is when i'm on my own....I just can't wait to decorate my own spot, take pride in it & wallow in taking a step further into being "my own woman" :)

for the longest, i have wanted a NICE/CLASSIC record player and my own collection of vinyls!!! I want songs like "My Mistake" by Mr. Marvin (G.) & Diana Ross spinning on my turntable or Frank Sinatra's "I loved her"!! I just adore old school/classic music and i just feel, what better way to celebrate it than with a record player?! Not to mention i just want to have throwback concerts in my room! lol...but yes, the Supremes, ThenatKINGcole of jazz, Smokey Rob, (i like giving my favs nick names! lol), Dear Sam (Cooke) & Frankie Lymon will all be spinning along with MJ. and Prince!! Ooh I can't wait!! =D

AS Far as my To Don'T List:

-BURN OUT: with only two hours in between each job, for travel, eating, and napping, I have to try my best not to Burn Out!!! I DON'T want to overwork myself!!! I'm kind of worried, yet i feel somewhat prepared after last summer: i worked 17hr days being physically active with teens...not to mention I had to give inspirational messages Every Night!!! So on that Note...

-I Won't OVER-THINK Things and stress myself out with worrying about inadequacies!! I CAN DO THIS!! (lol...if i think positive, it can only be positive right?!) well, prayers....i'll need them.

-Shandra e.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009


Okay, so I love these little (Gospel Based) "affirmations" on FB so i'm gonna start sharing them with everyone!! =)

Shandra got a message that on this day, God wants her to know...

... that you are only as free as you imagine yourself to be.
See what God wants you to know...

There is nothing ''out there'' that's holding you down, - you are limiting yourself only with... your own imagination. And your greatest limits are not even the ''cannot'' and the ''should not'', but the places where your imagination hasn't yet gone at all. There has never been a better time for you to open your eyes, let the imagination soar and see what more is possible.

*Philipians 4:13

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

The Game

Like all the other viewers i will be P.O if my show THE GAME does not return to CW and i just might ban that network since they seem to be banning all my favorites!!

Every once in a while i still have flash backs from Girlfriends; oh the Trauma!! lol...but Seriously, I want The Game to come back....Derwin & Tia's relationship is crazy, dramatic, reminiscent, just everything made for good tv. and Malik is funny, cocky and not to mention his Mom's (Tasha Mack) has me dying every week!! & Jason & Kelly's relationship, is an interesting/comical twist to a biracial couple where Jason, a NFL football player , happens to be the cheapest guy on the planet! Overall, the characters capture a variety of social classes (or clashes for that matter: the single life, infidelity, single parent-homes, biracial relationships, groupies & stardom, riches & fame, all while juggling "the game"! Not to mention both Malik & Derwin look good! lol.. I still catch the re-runs on B.E.T along with Girlfriends, but I 'll have a fit if it's all i'm left with...a Fit i tell you!!! lol

MEANWHILE: Look Who's COUPLED UP!!! =D how cuuute!

Hosea Chanchez (malik) & Tamera (the other sister..sister) are out for dinner in L.A and lo & behold Tia & her ring decided to join!! lol

how cute i hope it Works out!!

I Love that they're rocking their natural curls again; been a long time since we've seen it that way! BTW Tamera had a show: ROOMMATES on FoxFamily channel, but it seems it may have cancelled =/ I actually loved the show! It was a nice little comedy like Friends, except there happened to be a Black Rommate, WhOA?! ;o)