Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Tailor-Made Love

You wanted me to jump in, but you were never willing to teach me to swim...

as if you wanted to see me drown...& still no frown on your face could replace the silly smile traced upon my heart...

too bad i was too in love to realize, it was just the start of brokeness...

a part of me was ripping and your hands pulled at the seams.
-Shandra e.

Monday, August 23, 2010

New Growth...

As I learn to embrace my natural hair...totally, without any sedatives...lol...as in without weaves or wigs...or press/curls, flat-ironing or blow drying.....I'm experiencing NEW GROWTH as an ALL NATURAL WOMAN!!! :)

& mind you i haven't had a "perm" in 10 years anyhow; so this growth transcends my hair type or texture...some days i even leave the house without make-up...ON PURPOSE!

*shrugs.....i think i like me...NO...

I'm head over heels, in love....with me

Saturday, August 21, 2010

25 before 25...

I've been waiting for months, and now that my 24th Birthday is almost here...I can start planning my LIST of 25 things to do before year Twenty-FIVE is up!!! The clock starts on SEPT. 13th, soooo Wish me luck:

1.Run at least a half-marathon with an organization of my choice!!

2. LEAVE CALIFORNIA! Get on a plane and LEAVE!! lol...not for good, but vacation, travel, etc.

3. Wear red lipstick! lol, i'm frightened, but i love the vintage/classy lady-look!

4. Join a Gym & Get in shape! (realistically though!). take before/after pics.

5. APPLY TO GRAD SCHOOLS & GO!! i'm afraid; why..idk??

6. Get a love life! lol

7. Go to another Shakespeare play (i love that guy)!!

8. Indulge in my 1st SPA DAY/TREATMENT!!! *sigh.. :D

9. Splurge on a pair of Designer high heels that are T.D.F

10. Get the entire A DIFFERENT WORLD SERIES on Dvd!

11. get a pro-bikini wax /scream like CRAZY & rock a bikini for the 1st time!

12. GO Fishing for the 1st time...with Grandpa!! :)

13. Find a nice Sushi Restaurant & dine in!

14. buy a RECORD PLAYER!!! I've yet to find one that fits me!! (& i'm tired of collecting vinyls i can't play =/ )

15. ROAD TRIP!! by train or car...long as i get there...get there somehow ;)

16. Record one of my original songs..in a studio!

17. make time...make room...AND FINALLY GET A DOG :)

18. Get a Raise on the job OR find a Higher paying Job in my field!

19. Volunteer/work part-time at a Psychiatric Hospital or Nursing Home

20. Plan a trip to PARIS! Idk when i'll be able to afford it, but PLANNING is the first step to progress!

21. Write/Direct a Play w/original songs...as my cousin says: "embrace the Tyler Perry within"!! lol

22. Cook an entire meal, (from scratch) including dessert, for my mom/Family (it's a lot of us)!!

23. Go ice-skating! :)

24. Start a "get-away" savings-fund

25. design a cock-tail dress for my 25th bday & get it tailor made, for an unforgettable night.

Shandra e.

10 years ago......

10 years ago i permed my hair for the last time.

10 years ago i decided at 13, that i was ready to live totally for GOD...and ever since, that's exactly what i've been trying to do. 10 years ago, my absentee father stepped back on to the scene and sent my life up and down on the worst rollercoaster ride...EVER.

10 years ago....i learned that my best friend told my secret....and i vowed that no one could be a friend as dear as Jesus...so 10 years ago, i realized He was more than 'just' a savior...He was my BEST friend....and soon after i learned, He was my father.

10 years ago....i started high school. I walked into my English class and challenged the teacher, her theories and her logics....and 10 years later I am still a challenge. 10 years ago, i met the man of my dreams....he challenged me, loved me, and stretched me to no end...he taught me how to stretch and push myself....he was a teacher i'll never forget; he showed me that i was worth the challenge. And 10 years later, i'm still waiting for someone to live up to his standards....yet 10 years ago, i vowed never to stop in the process of waiting, because the Bible tells me, I am to "occupy until He comes"....so in waiting, i learned to love myself.

10 years ago....time flew by.